her name is Marion

and she is my grandmother. she passed away this morning. this blog is dedicated to the many memories i have of her.

i was born in milwaukee in 1974. she lived in port washington at that time, about a half-hour away. i know i used to go to day care while i lived there, but i also think she used to watch me a lot of the time. i was lucky and spoiled... i was the first grandchild for my grandmother and she lavished a lot of attention on me. i felt just at home at her house as i did my own.



we moved away when i was three and that was the end of the daily dose of grandma. from pennsylvania to michigan, we finally moved only a few hours away in 1988, only to have her move away in 1993 (i think. i may have been sooner). my other cousins who still lived in milwaukee reaped the benefits of having her around more than i did in those in between years. when they moved to florida, my cousins Laura and Stephanie got to make up for the time they had missed with her. all in all, i got the first stab at her being a grandmother, but i think the rest of my cousins all got more time with her than i did. and my poor sister got the total shaft in all of this. she was born after we moved away and really didn't get to know her very well.

i loved her unlike anyone else i have ever loved. grandparents are a weird thing. people who love you so much but don't have the burden of having to discipline you. i mean, when you're little and your parents introduce you to a person they say is your grandma, you believe them, right? and then this strange person lavishes all sort of attention on you, feeds you, hugs you, kisses you, has stuff for you, worries over you, is always over the moon to see you. i don't remember any of this stuff because my grandma had been in my life since day one, but it's still an awesome relationship no matter when your grandparents become part of your life.

over the years as an adult, my grandma and spoke as often as we could, probably once every few months. i loved just shooting the breeze with her, talking about family gossip and the past. i found out that her and my grandpa elmer and her had gone to Riverside Amusement Park in Chicago in the 40s. she also mentioned an old diary she had kept when she was young, like in the 1930s, that she said i could have. she had also sent me a bunch of pictures she had of my parents and of me when i was little. she had no qualms about her age these last few years... she knew eventually she was going to die. she tried to give away as much of her stuff as she could before that could happen. that was just the way she faced life. she wasn't emotional, neither is my mom, neither am i. i can't imagine my great-grandma flossie was a very emotional person either. you just deal with the cards you were dealt, i guess.

anyway, a long blog later, here are some memories i have of being with my grandma:

1. riding my tricycle down the sidewalk in front of her house.
2. being scared to roller skate down the driveway because it was "so steep."
3. sitting on her really hard bed and smelling her perfume, jovan musk.
4. being amazed at the many different cereals she had to choose from.
5. hanging out in her basement when it was too hot to be upstairs.
6. playing hopscotch on the black and white tiles in her basement.
7. having family dinners in the basement because all of us wouldn't fit upstairs.
8. walking with her to the mcdonald's by her house to get an ice cream cone.
9. sleeping in the front bedroom when i was little, with the door open just a crack so i wouldn't be scared. i could hear my parents and grandparents playing cards in the kitchen.
10. sitting on her new, plastic-covered couches
11. not being able to eat anything in the living room because she had just gotten new carpeting
12. her first dog, shoestring. and her second dog, cindy.
13. the old barbie dolls that my aunt linda had left behind when she moved out.
14. going through all of my grandma's old purses to see what she had forgotten to take out. mostly kleenex.
15. the dresser drawer in the back bedroom that was filled with games, coloring books and other random child whatnot.
16. driving downtown to see my grandpa at work.
17. walking along the rocks along Lake Michigan before they built the marina.
18. going up to the bluff and looking down on the town.
19. sitting out on the back porch while my grandpa grilled.
20. going with my grandma to Sentry, where she worked, and having all of the women she worked with gush over how big i was getting.
21. the sweet rolls she would bring home from her job.
22. my grandpa rubbing her feet after a long day at work.
23. my uncles making fun of her because she burned the toast and/or bacon once about 10 years go.
24. watching The Little Mermaid with my younger cousins about a million times.
25. turning on her huge console tv/radio in the living room and having to wait for it to warm up.
26. flying to visit her when i was 5 and forgetting my rain coat on the plane.
27. her coming to visit us in Michigan when my sister was born.
28. calling her on the phone and how happy she always was to hear from me, no matter how long it had been.
29. i loved the smell of her house. coffee, perfume, baby powder, laundry, fresh air. this might sound strange, but our medicine cabinet reminds me of how her house smelled.

there are several hundred more memories i have, but i don't think there is enough time in the world to get them all down. i am sad and i'm not sad at the same time. she passed out after her 90th birthday party and passed away three days later. for some reason, i chuckle at that. as my cousin Celena said, it would be just like my grandmother to think, "i've lived to be 90, i'm done with this nonsense."

grandma, i love you. i hope to see you in the afterlife when i am a great old lady, just like you.