sigh
i don't understand why some people are managers. just because they might have done a good job in the past in the department doesn't mean that they'll be good at managing people. here's how NOT to manage:
1. wait as long as possible to talk about something that bugs you. if someone does a job that you don't like, harbor resentment and then bring it up at review time, taking the employee completely off-guard.
2. have ZERO sense of humor. and look down on people who like to laugh, joke, be sarcastic and have a good time... unless they're ABOVE you on the food chain.
3. stab people you don't like in the back. make up lies about them and then report them to HR. since you're the boss, HR will believe you over the employee.
4. have your employees send every email that they send out through you, or at least copy you in on it. after it's sent, write the employee and tell them that they did that all wrong and you should have said x, y, and z. this is to make sure that they never forget who's in charge.
5. take work you know is incomplete from your employee to your superior and say that it's a total mess and completely unacceptable. then sit back and wait until your boss confronts your helpless employee and watch them squirm.
6. take responsibility for nothing that your employees do, even though you're supposed to know what they're doing. be sure to turn around and place the blame squarely on the employee's shoulders, even if it was a group project and many other people were involved and at fault. never go to bat for any employee under you.
7. do not develop a rapport with your employees. this might make it harder to be a complete asshat to them later.
8. be sure to report every little mistake your employees make, even if they are the same mistakes you've made yourself. you never know when you're going to have to fire someone. and it's not like the employee does a review of YOU, so who would know about your mistakes, anyway?
9. promise the moon and the stars to your superiors without the full knowledge of the project and no where near the manpower you'll need. then turn around to your employees and demand that they do the work of 3 people flawlessly. don't forget to harass them at every opportunity, especially when your superiors demand to know what's taking so long.
this list will be expanded from time to time. we can all use improvement.
1. wait as long as possible to talk about something that bugs you. if someone does a job that you don't like, harbor resentment and then bring it up at review time, taking the employee completely off-guard.
2. have ZERO sense of humor. and look down on people who like to laugh, joke, be sarcastic and have a good time... unless they're ABOVE you on the food chain.
3. stab people you don't like in the back. make up lies about them and then report them to HR. since you're the boss, HR will believe you over the employee.
4. have your employees send every email that they send out through you, or at least copy you in on it. after it's sent, write the employee and tell them that they did that all wrong and you should have said x, y, and z. this is to make sure that they never forget who's in charge.
5. take work you know is incomplete from your employee to your superior and say that it's a total mess and completely unacceptable. then sit back and wait until your boss confronts your helpless employee and watch them squirm.
6. take responsibility for nothing that your employees do, even though you're supposed to know what they're doing. be sure to turn around and place the blame squarely on the employee's shoulders, even if it was a group project and many other people were involved and at fault. never go to bat for any employee under you.
7. do not develop a rapport with your employees. this might make it harder to be a complete asshat to them later.
8. be sure to report every little mistake your employees make, even if they are the same mistakes you've made yourself. you never know when you're going to have to fire someone. and it's not like the employee does a review of YOU, so who would know about your mistakes, anyway?
9. promise the moon and the stars to your superiors without the full knowledge of the project and no where near the manpower you'll need. then turn around to your employees and demand that they do the work of 3 people flawlessly. don't forget to harass them at every opportunity, especially when your superiors demand to know what's taking so long.
this list will be expanded from time to time. we can all use improvement.
posted by mikraas at 7:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home