Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
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OK, I'm waaaay past my Day 28, but i'm determined to finish this.
If i got pregnant, i would be scared out of my mind. but because of choices made in a previous life, i would keep it and plow through with determination, laudenum and booze. i can't fuck up any more than sarah palin or the menedez parents, right?
my husband, on the other hand, would probably rather leave me than deal with the outcome. to each his own. he thinks having kids is akin to having your life sucked out of you with a vacuum. that i'd immediately make him get rid of anything that he might enjoy, because now that we have kids, you aren't allowed to have any fun or time to yourself ever again. sell your guitars, we need the second room "for the baaaaaaby!" fuck that. those words would never come out of my mouth. i hate simpering mothers enough to know better than that. i have this strange thought that if you try really hard, you really can get some sleep. you can take a shower. you can leave the house. i know, what do i know? you know what i know? i know that that kid won't remember a fucking thing until it learns to talk. it won't remember whimpering in it's crib while you took 2 minutes to pee. i mean, when did having a kid mean you have to give up EVERY OUNCE OF SELF-PRESERVATION?
i've said it before and i'll say it again: there is no Mother of the Year award. i know martyr sounds an awful like mother, but let's get some damn perspective, please.
anyway, i would keep it, i would name it something out of the IKEA catalog, and let every single useless female judge me all she wants. go fuck yourselves.
OK, I'm waaaay past my Day 28, but i'm determined to finish this.
If i got pregnant, i would be scared out of my mind. but because of choices made in a previous life, i would keep it and plow through with determination, laudenum and booze. i can't fuck up any more than sarah palin or the menedez parents, right?
my husband, on the other hand, would probably rather leave me than deal with the outcome. to each his own. he thinks having kids is akin to having your life sucked out of you with a vacuum. that i'd immediately make him get rid of anything that he might enjoy, because now that we have kids, you aren't allowed to have any fun or time to yourself ever again. sell your guitars, we need the second room "for the baaaaaaby!" fuck that. those words would never come out of my mouth. i hate simpering mothers enough to know better than that. i have this strange thought that if you try really hard, you really can get some sleep. you can take a shower. you can leave the house. i know, what do i know? you know what i know? i know that that kid won't remember a fucking thing until it learns to talk. it won't remember whimpering in it's crib while you took 2 minutes to pee. i mean, when did having a kid mean you have to give up EVERY OUNCE OF SELF-PRESERVATION?
i've said it before and i'll say it again: there is no Mother of the Year award. i know martyr sounds an awful like mother, but let's get some damn perspective, please.
anyway, i would keep it, i would name it something out of the IKEA catalog, and let every single useless female judge me all she wants. go fuck yourselves.
posted by mikraas at 2:11 PM
1 Comments:
I was going to name my firstborn Beowulf Nosferatu "Vinnie Boom-Boom" Florio but now I think it will be GRUNDTAL KRÅKSKÄR Florio. Great idea, thanks!
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