reducing meds
i've been reducing my anti-anxiety medication these last couple of months to see if i can lose this extra 20 pounds i've been carrying since i went on them. here's what i've noticed in the past two months:
1. i am more restless. especially these last two weeks. i don't want to sit and knit, or sit behind a desk and type, i want to be up and doing something. of course, this could be from cabin fever, so until the thermometer goes above 30, i won't know.
2. my temper has kind of come back. i haven't started throwing things or punching walls, but i notice that i am more frustrated behind the wheel and just at people in general.
3. i am having a harder time being diplomatic. i can't seem to keep my politically-charged mouth closed and i have said somethings in the work place that has caused some people to look at me warily.
4. i have a drive to do more (see #1), like work out, but that has not really translated into weight loss. not only that, but i find myself becoming more despondent over it. before, i wouldn't really put much effort into it, but then i didn't really care too much that i was overweight. but now, not only do i think about it all the time, it just pisses me off. of course, that doesn't translate into me NOT eating coffee cake and burgers. i just can't put the two together.
5. my PMS is coming back slowly. it is the week before my period and i feel like a social leper. i feel depressed and useless, which usually turns into anger, where i then punch walls and throw things. it hasn't gotten there yet. maybe it won't.
6. i find it easier to organize and plan. my mind doesn't feel as messy as it did before. sure, i still forget things, but at work, i'm on top of everything. i'm also on top of everything for my freelancing gigs. i find it a little easier to stick to a routine, which is something i found kind of to do while on the meds.
7. i cannot eat whatever i want anymore, especially cheese. i have been getting more frequent stomach aches and stomach issues. i can't eat as much in one sitting and i can't eat a lot of fried foods. this may turn into weight loss, but until i can actually fit into a pair of pants that didn't fit before, i'm not getting near that scale.
so here i am. still fat, but now angry, depressed and organized. now what?
1. i am more restless. especially these last two weeks. i don't want to sit and knit, or sit behind a desk and type, i want to be up and doing something. of course, this could be from cabin fever, so until the thermometer goes above 30, i won't know.
2. my temper has kind of come back. i haven't started throwing things or punching walls, but i notice that i am more frustrated behind the wheel and just at people in general.
3. i am having a harder time being diplomatic. i can't seem to keep my politically-charged mouth closed and i have said somethings in the work place that has caused some people to look at me warily.
4. i have a drive to do more (see #1), like work out, but that has not really translated into weight loss. not only that, but i find myself becoming more despondent over it. before, i wouldn't really put much effort into it, but then i didn't really care too much that i was overweight. but now, not only do i think about it all the time, it just pisses me off. of course, that doesn't translate into me NOT eating coffee cake and burgers. i just can't put the two together.
5. my PMS is coming back slowly. it is the week before my period and i feel like a social leper. i feel depressed and useless, which usually turns into anger, where i then punch walls and throw things. it hasn't gotten there yet. maybe it won't.
6. i find it easier to organize and plan. my mind doesn't feel as messy as it did before. sure, i still forget things, but at work, i'm on top of everything. i'm also on top of everything for my freelancing gigs. i find it a little easier to stick to a routine, which is something i found kind of to do while on the meds.
7. i cannot eat whatever i want anymore, especially cheese. i have been getting more frequent stomach aches and stomach issues. i can't eat as much in one sitting and i can't eat a lot of fried foods. this may turn into weight loss, but until i can actually fit into a pair of pants that didn't fit before, i'm not getting near that scale.
so here i am. still fat, but now angry, depressed and organized. now what?
posted by mikraas at 8:04 AM
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