allow me to back-pedal
upon some harsh comments left about this "letter," i must profess it's not as funny as i first thought. allow me to annotate:
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
free? hell, even as an american, i don't get free medical care. and if they call those shitty clinics that are open once a month for an hour and are run by a doctor who graduated from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, then i'd rather stay sick
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
almost all of europe has signs in english. and i seriously doubt it's because of england's overwheming influence on the EU
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
this is so ridiculous, i don't even know what to say. at my old place of business, they have the canadian flag flying. i still haven't figured that one out.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
most of the american schools can barely afford to feed schoolkids. and if you call government-issue greasy pizza and an apple "lunch," then you need to consult the food pyramid
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
what government services? the USless post office? and who says you need a driver's license to drive?
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
don't worry. we don't bother with that here in america, either.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
hello? can you say, "racial profiling?" since when do american cops leave immigrants alone?
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
ok, i reserve the right to bitch when hispanic people do this. once, i accidently drove through a part of town during one of these celebrations. i just wish the US government would makme a BIGGER deal out of it so i would know when it was happening and i could leave town.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
nice job? what's a nice job? hauling scrap metal? picking grapes in 100 degree heat with one bathroom break? you need to look up the name "cesar chavez" and get back to me about "nice jobs."
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
ah, yes. all of those tolerant american people, who never have a harsh word to say about the people who do the jobs they would rather die than do.
However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
i wish i could invite chaney to go quail hunting with chaney.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
American Voters
you know, the ones who voted for George W. Bush. don't we deserve respect?
Dear President Bush:
I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
free? hell, even as an american, i don't get free medical care. and if they call those shitty clinics that are open once a month for an hour and are run by a doctor who graduated from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, then i'd rather stay sick
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
almost all of europe has signs in english. and i seriously doubt it's because of england's overwheming influence on the EU
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
this is so ridiculous, i don't even know what to say. at my old place of business, they have the canadian flag flying. i still haven't figured that one out.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
most of the american schools can barely afford to feed schoolkids. and if you call government-issue greasy pizza and an apple "lunch," then you need to consult the food pyramid
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
what government services? the USless post office? and who says you need a driver's license to drive?
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
don't worry. we don't bother with that here in america, either.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
hello? can you say, "racial profiling?" since when do american cops leave immigrants alone?
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
ok, i reserve the right to bitch when hispanic people do this. once, i accidently drove through a part of town during one of these celebrations. i just wish the US government would makme a BIGGER deal out of it so i would know when it was happening and i could leave town.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
nice job? what's a nice job? hauling scrap metal? picking grapes in 100 degree heat with one bathroom break? you need to look up the name "cesar chavez" and get back to me about "nice jobs."
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
ah, yes. all of those tolerant american people, who never have a harsh word to say about the people who do the jobs they would rather die than do.
However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P.
i wish i could invite chaney to go quail hunting with chaney.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
American Voters
you know, the ones who voted for George W. Bush. don't we deserve respect?
posted by mikraas at 8:33 PM
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