life path?
i noticed a few weeks ago that most of the blogs i read on a daily basis are of mothers and their children. and there's nothing really special about any of them except the usual trials and tribulations of having a child (or children). some of the blogs i read are from ER docs and nurses. so what does this tell me?
either i want to be a doctor or i want to have kid.
(i'd like to have a doctor's kid so i wouldn't have to work anymore, but i don't think scott has such ambitions, so it'll have to be a doctor of words.)
anyway, i also realized (a long time ago) that i hadn't made any long-range plans beyond graduating from college. i never really thought about getting married or having spawn. i did see myself having a successful career, which, surprisingly, isn't something you can really plan for. "ok, i want to be a hot-shot ad exec." bam! you're in publishing. uh, not quite what i wanted. but i think my talent as an artist and the career of choice had some distance between them. the closest i've come to being an ad exec is making Booklist Online ads. sigh.
ok, so what do i do with my life? i've been taking these classes of a science-type nature and i'm wondering if i'll really do anything with them. it would seem like such a waste to NOT put them to good use, but what are my options? i tell people i want to get in a UIC master's program for microbiology. uh, then what? i can see myself applying. it's not a "what if i don't get accepted," it's more like a "what if i get in?" we're going to have a mortgage and insurance and assessments to pay. not that i have a snowball's chance in hell of getting in, really. i may have mentioned this before, but 7 in 150 got in last year. and i still have organic chem and physics to tackle. this chem class is wearing me down. but i can't see myself NOT taking any classes. i can't see myself NOT trying to go for that white-coated brass ring.
but what do i do with it?
do i really want to do this program? what would it get me? a PhD in Lab Rat? or do i want to just go the whole hog and apply for med school? can you imagine? i forget to convert images from RGB to CMYK when i do a catalog... can you imagine me with a scalpel in hand and the ability to cut into a human being? "nurse, where's that sponge?" they should make biodegradable sponges.
anyway, medicine or research? or just a lab jockey? i've always thought that being the one to do the tests on someone who has a white blood cell count of 980,000 would be really totally cool. "test this one for ebola. be careful!"
some people ask, "oh, do you want to become a nurse?" NO! if i wanted to be treated like the gum that doctor's wipe off their shoes, i'd become an artist. oh, wait. although my friend's cousin is a NICU nurse and that seems really rewarding.
i guess the bottom line is... i just don't feel like i'm contributing anything to society. and i've done too much schooling to throw it away on breeding. if we could squeeze out 4 or 5 in a sitting and let them squirm around on their own while i go off to work, then that would be fine. but no. someone has to watching them... ALL THE TIME. and daycare is so goddamn expensive. of course, if i became a doctor, then it wouldn't matter, would it? unless my malpractice insurance was so high i could only afford Top Ramen.
i wish i could make a decision before my chem quiz on monday. sigh.
i just don't know.
either i want to be a doctor or i want to have kid.
(i'd like to have a doctor's kid so i wouldn't have to work anymore, but i don't think scott has such ambitions, so it'll have to be a doctor of words.)
anyway, i also realized (a long time ago) that i hadn't made any long-range plans beyond graduating from college. i never really thought about getting married or having spawn. i did see myself having a successful career, which, surprisingly, isn't something you can really plan for. "ok, i want to be a hot-shot ad exec." bam! you're in publishing. uh, not quite what i wanted. but i think my talent as an artist and the career of choice had some distance between them. the closest i've come to being an ad exec is making Booklist Online ads. sigh.
ok, so what do i do with my life? i've been taking these classes of a science-type nature and i'm wondering if i'll really do anything with them. it would seem like such a waste to NOT put them to good use, but what are my options? i tell people i want to get in a UIC master's program for microbiology. uh, then what? i can see myself applying. it's not a "what if i don't get accepted," it's more like a "what if i get in?" we're going to have a mortgage and insurance and assessments to pay. not that i have a snowball's chance in hell of getting in, really. i may have mentioned this before, but 7 in 150 got in last year. and i still have organic chem and physics to tackle. this chem class is wearing me down. but i can't see myself NOT taking any classes. i can't see myself NOT trying to go for that white-coated brass ring.
but what do i do with it?
do i really want to do this program? what would it get me? a PhD in Lab Rat? or do i want to just go the whole hog and apply for med school? can you imagine? i forget to convert images from RGB to CMYK when i do a catalog... can you imagine me with a scalpel in hand and the ability to cut into a human being? "nurse, where's that sponge?" they should make biodegradable sponges.
anyway, medicine or research? or just a lab jockey? i've always thought that being the one to do the tests on someone who has a white blood cell count of 980,000 would be really totally cool. "test this one for ebola. be careful!"
some people ask, "oh, do you want to become a nurse?" NO! if i wanted to be treated like the gum that doctor's wipe off their shoes, i'd become an artist. oh, wait. although my friend's cousin is a NICU nurse and that seems really rewarding.
i guess the bottom line is... i just don't feel like i'm contributing anything to society. and i've done too much schooling to throw it away on breeding. if we could squeeze out 4 or 5 in a sitting and let them squirm around on their own while i go off to work, then that would be fine. but no. someone has to watching them... ALL THE TIME. and daycare is so goddamn expensive. of course, if i became a doctor, then it wouldn't matter, would it? unless my malpractice insurance was so high i could only afford Top Ramen.
i wish i could make a decision before my chem quiz on monday. sigh.
i just don't know.
posted by mikraas at 11:22 PM
3 Comments:
lol well speaking for the breeders, it does pretty much take over everything else....my vote is to save the world :o)unless that malpractice insurance kills you then hey wtf knock out a few kids let them save the world ;op
don't forget the kid would inherit both your and scott's wacked-out genes and mental disorders.. can you imagine raising a kid with a temper as bad as yours? :D (note: this goes a loooong way towards why *i'm* not breeding.)
http://childfreeghetto.blogspot.com/
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