it's that time of year again
that time when we all start feeling a little fat. it hasn't helped that the only food lying around is fudge or cookies or caramel corn... and not a veggie or fruit in sight. and because of the way i've been eating these last few weeks (months), i'm finding it hard to break some habits:
1. sugar. i am completely and utterly addicted to sugar. i have noticed a few things about my sugar intake, a) when i have a little, i immediately want a LOT more, b) sugar substitutes sometimes make it worse, c) when i know there is sugar around, i have a hard time not thinking about it. i know it's there, taunting me. oh, surely i can have one, little bite, right? no. see a above.
2. when i get bored or frustrated, i start thinking about what to cram in my mouth. i've only noticed this recently, probably since i started taking chemistry. when i'm sitting around, doing my homework, i want to munch on something. i don't care what it is, but i want to have that "extra" thing to do while i'm figuring out molarity because i get bored really, really easily and eating something at the same time doesn't require brain power and it's a distraction. and i find that the more i push it off, the more i think about it. it's the same at work (which is why i'm blogging about it now, because i'm bored and want to eat something, despite the fact that i just ate oatmeal). and i've been really frustrated and bored at work, as many of you have read.
3. i'm finding i have to satisfaction level when it comes to feeling full if i've eaten something healthy. and usually i need to consume some unhealthy amount of sugar in order to stave off the craving.
4. i can't go as long as i used to between meals. i used to be able to get up, eat a bowl of bran flakes (serving size 3/4 cup) with 4 oz. of rice milk and be fine until 10am. not anymore. at some point, i started subsidizing my morning breakfast with something incredibly unhealthy, like a danish, THEN eating my oatmeal at 10am (or not, but then i would be proud of myself for not needing that morning snack. how does THAT work??).
when did it get this bad? last night, we had ribs and mashed potatoes and corn and beans... relatively healthy. the appetizer... summer sausage with cheese on crackers. not so healthy. and i ate like half of it because i was hungry. then i brought my fudge and ate some of that. shannon forgot to bring dessert, which was a blessing, because i was feeling a little ill by that time. but when i got home, i ate the last piece of fudge and scott said, "don't complain to me about how fat you feel after you eat it." and i am gaining weight. in my waist mostly.
so this morning, i ate the serving size of bran flakes with 4 oz. of rice milk (without the slight sprinkling of raw sugar i usually put on it). i walked from the chicago brown line stop. i drank some water when i got to work. i was fine until i got to work and realized i had NO DESIRE to work. so i started thinking about the caramel corn and cookies that are sitting out on the table. i asked myself if i was hungry and my stomach growled its answer. ok, fine, but you're not getting sugar, dammit. not today. i'm tired of feeling tired and dragged down. so all i have to do it get through today.
of course, i had a good day last thursday and then friday, just let it all go to shit. but now that the holidays are over (new years doesn't count), there aren't any more fattening obstacles in the way. so now i have to talk myself into walking down to whole foods for fruit if i continue to be hungry. the brisk air will do me good.
wish me luck.
1. sugar. i am completely and utterly addicted to sugar. i have noticed a few things about my sugar intake, a) when i have a little, i immediately want a LOT more, b) sugar substitutes sometimes make it worse, c) when i know there is sugar around, i have a hard time not thinking about it. i know it's there, taunting me. oh, surely i can have one, little bite, right? no. see a above.
2. when i get bored or frustrated, i start thinking about what to cram in my mouth. i've only noticed this recently, probably since i started taking chemistry. when i'm sitting around, doing my homework, i want to munch on something. i don't care what it is, but i want to have that "extra" thing to do while i'm figuring out molarity because i get bored really, really easily and eating something at the same time doesn't require brain power and it's a distraction. and i find that the more i push it off, the more i think about it. it's the same at work (which is why i'm blogging about it now, because i'm bored and want to eat something, despite the fact that i just ate oatmeal). and i've been really frustrated and bored at work, as many of you have read.
3. i'm finding i have to satisfaction level when it comes to feeling full if i've eaten something healthy. and usually i need to consume some unhealthy amount of sugar in order to stave off the craving.
4. i can't go as long as i used to between meals. i used to be able to get up, eat a bowl of bran flakes (serving size 3/4 cup) with 4 oz. of rice milk and be fine until 10am. not anymore. at some point, i started subsidizing my morning breakfast with something incredibly unhealthy, like a danish, THEN eating my oatmeal at 10am (or not, but then i would be proud of myself for not needing that morning snack. how does THAT work??).
when did it get this bad? last night, we had ribs and mashed potatoes and corn and beans... relatively healthy. the appetizer... summer sausage with cheese on crackers. not so healthy. and i ate like half of it because i was hungry. then i brought my fudge and ate some of that. shannon forgot to bring dessert, which was a blessing, because i was feeling a little ill by that time. but when i got home, i ate the last piece of fudge and scott said, "don't complain to me about how fat you feel after you eat it." and i am gaining weight. in my waist mostly.
so this morning, i ate the serving size of bran flakes with 4 oz. of rice milk (without the slight sprinkling of raw sugar i usually put on it). i walked from the chicago brown line stop. i drank some water when i got to work. i was fine until i got to work and realized i had NO DESIRE to work. so i started thinking about the caramel corn and cookies that are sitting out on the table. i asked myself if i was hungry and my stomach growled its answer. ok, fine, but you're not getting sugar, dammit. not today. i'm tired of feeling tired and dragged down. so all i have to do it get through today.
of course, i had a good day last thursday and then friday, just let it all go to shit. but now that the holidays are over (new years doesn't count), there aren't any more fattening obstacles in the way. so now i have to talk myself into walking down to whole foods for fruit if i continue to be hungry. the brisk air will do me good.
wish me luck.
posted by mikraas at 9:05 AM
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