sigh
so the week before last, i got tired of not being able to fit into any of my clothes from last summer and i stepped up the exercise and tried not to eat like a complete pig. i lost 4 pounds. i was so ecstatic about those 4 pounds, i decided to not work out as much and eat like a pig again and gained them all back. really.
actually, i couldn't run or bike as much as i wanted to because my knee was bugging me. and i made some desserts that i shouldn't have. i'm going to assume that the scale is wrong (for whatever reason) and am going to try not to hate myself. but here i sit, in my fat pants, wondering how i'm going to get through the day with them clinging cloyingly to my behind. and since i'm not busy at work, there's nothing to take my mind off how fat i feel. ah, i love days like these. and all i can think about it how i wish i was tonight or tomorrow so i can know how well (or badly) i have eaten for the day. of course, if i planned it out, i wouldn't have to guess or wait. but i'm not quite there yet. and the thought of anything other than breakfast food before 9am is completely revolting to me. i managed to make a turkey sandwich this morning, but that's it.
i haven't eaten any potato chips or cheetos with my lunch in a few weeks. last week i caved on Thursday and got a danish, but i figured i had ridden my bike, so it wasn't that big of a deal. my problem is i see exercise as an excuse to eat whatever i want. if i were working out hard-core everyday, then that would be fine. but i'm working out every other day and really not that hard. today i rode my bike 45 minutes to work, about 10mph. not too shabby. the heart rate was up most of the time, which is nice. but tomorrow i might run and i always run too fast, so i have to call it quits after about 15 minutes. that's not quite a workout. i hate running too long because it gets SO boring. i need to download a book on tape or whatever so i can listen while i run. or i just need to suck it up. but i feel like such a turtle out there when i run slow, i hate it. *plod*plod*plod* i guess i shouldn't feel bad because at least i'm out there, but ugh. i've never been fast and i've always hated it. i hate people who decide to start running after never doing it and being able to run 5 miles no prob. i blame it on my mitochondria. lazy bastards.
alright, so next monday i better see some serious weight loss. or else i am going to have to... what? quit my job so i can concentrate on my diet and exercise? ride my bike every day? run to work? eat nothing but lettuce? take alli and shit all the time? get used to fact that i can longer fit in my cute summer clothes?
fuck that.
actually, i couldn't run or bike as much as i wanted to because my knee was bugging me. and i made some desserts that i shouldn't have. i'm going to assume that the scale is wrong (for whatever reason) and am going to try not to hate myself. but here i sit, in my fat pants, wondering how i'm going to get through the day with them clinging cloyingly to my behind. and since i'm not busy at work, there's nothing to take my mind off how fat i feel. ah, i love days like these. and all i can think about it how i wish i was tonight or tomorrow so i can know how well (or badly) i have eaten for the day. of course, if i planned it out, i wouldn't have to guess or wait. but i'm not quite there yet. and the thought of anything other than breakfast food before 9am is completely revolting to me. i managed to make a turkey sandwich this morning, but that's it.
i haven't eaten any potato chips or cheetos with my lunch in a few weeks. last week i caved on Thursday and got a danish, but i figured i had ridden my bike, so it wasn't that big of a deal. my problem is i see exercise as an excuse to eat whatever i want. if i were working out hard-core everyday, then that would be fine. but i'm working out every other day and really not that hard. today i rode my bike 45 minutes to work, about 10mph. not too shabby. the heart rate was up most of the time, which is nice. but tomorrow i might run and i always run too fast, so i have to call it quits after about 15 minutes. that's not quite a workout. i hate running too long because it gets SO boring. i need to download a book on tape or whatever so i can listen while i run. or i just need to suck it up. but i feel like such a turtle out there when i run slow, i hate it. *plod*plod*plod* i guess i shouldn't feel bad because at least i'm out there, but ugh. i've never been fast and i've always hated it. i hate people who decide to start running after never doing it and being able to run 5 miles no prob. i blame it on my mitochondria. lazy bastards.
alright, so next monday i better see some serious weight loss. or else i am going to have to... what? quit my job so i can concentrate on my diet and exercise? ride my bike every day? run to work? eat nothing but lettuce? take alli and shit all the time? get used to fact that i can longer fit in my cute summer clothes?
fuck that.
posted by mikraas at 8:50 AM
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