what now?
have you ever had one of those days when you're so irritated that you feel like you're coming out of your skin? everything is rubbing me the wrong way, like every nerve is on fire. i find myself yelling at commercials, swearing at my computer at the slightest swirl of the beach ball. the tiniest bump, snag, hold-up, sends my coping mechanisms into infant mode. and trying to figure out why starts the irritation all over again.
here is the bottom line: i don't like what i do anymore. for the last 5 years or so, i have been on a severely tilted career path. publishing is not what it used to be. corporate america is only out for itself and its bottom line. i have worked as a temp for a company for over a year that can't get out of its own way long enough to hire me. and after this last stint, i don't think i want it. i am hearing rumblings of the "employee evaluations," which, in my 11 years in a corporate, NO ONE likes to do. who thought of these things? who thought that barging into my personal mind and making me set goals for my professional life was a good idea? hey, and you know what else? i have too much fucking work to spend hours making up crap that i might have time to get done in the next year at the office. if i don't want to take a photoshop class or an XML training session, then that should be MY decision, not Mr. Bossy Boss. Not the man sitting on high, making 6 figures. and he has no idea what it takes to get shit done on the lower level or else those fucking goals might do some good. but they never do. here's a goal: DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. did you achieve your goals from last year? No, i didn't have any time. so do i get less of a raise because i was bogged down with actual WORK? christ, those things are so stupid. the one good thing about being a temp is that i don't have to deal with those.
but what happens when i stop becoming a temp? every fiber of my being would rather run screaming in the opposite direction. but not just if i was offered a job at my current place... it would be if ANY corporate entity wanted to hire me. the thought of being in a cube the rest of my life, sitting behind a computer screen, doing what other people tell me, makes me want to run into traffic. and what else can i do to prevent myself from working in dead-end corporate america?
nothing, that's what.
and here i am.
here is the bottom line: i don't like what i do anymore. for the last 5 years or so, i have been on a severely tilted career path. publishing is not what it used to be. corporate america is only out for itself and its bottom line. i have worked as a temp for a company for over a year that can't get out of its own way long enough to hire me. and after this last stint, i don't think i want it. i am hearing rumblings of the "employee evaluations," which, in my 11 years in a corporate, NO ONE likes to do. who thought of these things? who thought that barging into my personal mind and making me set goals for my professional life was a good idea? hey, and you know what else? i have too much fucking work to spend hours making up crap that i might have time to get done in the next year at the office. if i don't want to take a photoshop class or an XML training session, then that should be MY decision, not Mr. Bossy Boss. Not the man sitting on high, making 6 figures. and he has no idea what it takes to get shit done on the lower level or else those fucking goals might do some good. but they never do. here's a goal: DO YOUR FUCKING JOB. did you achieve your goals from last year? No, i didn't have any time. so do i get less of a raise because i was bogged down with actual WORK? christ, those things are so stupid. the one good thing about being a temp is that i don't have to deal with those.
but what happens when i stop becoming a temp? every fiber of my being would rather run screaming in the opposite direction. but not just if i was offered a job at my current place... it would be if ANY corporate entity wanted to hire me. the thought of being in a cube the rest of my life, sitting behind a computer screen, doing what other people tell me, makes me want to run into traffic. and what else can i do to prevent myself from working in dead-end corporate america?
nothing, that's what.
and here i am.
posted by mikraas at 11:40 PM
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