an easy way to piss me off

tell me that i don't know anything about kids because i don't have them. don't act like a condescending piece of shit by saying, "well, you just don't know." you know what? there are a ton of things you don't know either, but i'm not rubbing your goddamn face in it.

and it's not like i'm running around offering unsolicited advice. actually, i've never offered any advice at all. i may talk about something i'd read or something someone else who has kids has experienced if it's part of the conversation, but you will NEVER hear me say, "you should do xyz because of ."

once, a long time ago, i went to a party with some friends of mine. they brought their three-month old daughter with them. she stayed in her carrier most of the time, no big deal. unfortunately, all anyone at the fucking party wanted to talk about was their goddamn kids. one guy was talking about his kids allergies and all this rot and i tried to talk about how it's hard to test kids under 2 for allergies because their immune systems aren't done developing yet, yadda yadda. he looked at me like, "why are you talking? you don't have kids." and i was getting the same vibe from my friend, who was standing next to me during the conversation.

after trying to join in conversations for about 3 hours and getting the same vibe from everyone, i got pissed and left. and i mean PISSED. don't discount my or my opinion just because i don't have a fucking crotch dropping. i chose not to breed for a reason and i'm not forcing that down your throat, am i? no. i'm trying to talk to you on your level, because i understand that kids take over your life. but don't you dare treat me like something you wouldn't scrape off your shoe because i don't have child.

and my friend? what? you have three months on me? what do you know about toilet training? about walking? about anything beyond three months? NOTHING. so don't sit there and treat me like i'm from another planet. i remember you before you chose to ruin your life.

oh, and they drove home drunk with their 3-month old asleep in the backseat. nice.

another thing i don't get is how hard some people try to have kids, then BITCH ABOUT IT EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY when they finally get here. or even sooner! "oh, look at me! i'm peeing every 5 minutes!" yeah, well, you brought it on yourself. "i never get to shower." so what? would you rather have a shower or a child? you made that choice. the thing is, no one is EVER prepared for how hard it is. and yes, i'm saying that i don't have one. pretty ballsy of me, huh? it's a lot of hard fucking work, a lot of sacrifice. if you're still partying after the kid is born, then you might be doing something wrong. but i don't get the people who have kids, who WANTED kids, and then bitch nonstop about how hard their lives are. you won't get any sympathy from me with that one.

nor will pregnant women. i appreciate a pregnant woman or parent who can have a conversation without once mentioning their predicament. or if they mention they have back pain or any other type of issue like it's just part of the package.

but i guess we're just a nation of whiners. here i am, right? but i long for the days when you just showed up with a big belly and kept on going through life like it was just another thing. Caroline Ingalls sure never made a big deal about being pregnant or raising kids. she probably never made her non-child-having friends feel like shit because they didn't have them.