i'm a freak

last weekend i took off from starbucks. i just took the days off without having anythin planned. and nothing really came up that could have done, so i had practially nothing to do.

and i hated it.

what's wrong with me? i used to be able to wile the days away, without a care in the world. i used to be able to read a book or watching a movie or any old thing that came on tv.

but not anymore.

everytime i have free time, i feel like there is something i could be doing. i can't just watch a movie. i have to be doing something else, be it cross-stitching or playing on my computer or reading a book (yes, i can read and watch a movie at the same time, provided that i've already seen said movie). if i'm not sitting on the couch, doing ten things at once, i have to be up and doing something: the dishes or cleaning the bath room or organizing the bedroom. i can't just sit still.

so last weekend was a nightmare. friday night, annette came over and we watched super troopers and ate pizza. the next day, we went thrift shopping. annette found what she needed at the first place we went to, but i refused to let the day end after only an hour. so we went to lunch and then went to a bunch of different thrift stores. i got home at about 3:30. then i cleaned the apartment. i got hell-bent on unpacking some random boxes, organizing my sewing cabinet and reorganizing a bookshelf. sunday, scott went over to a friend's house to play games, so i ran some errands and then went back to the house to clean some more.

and, just for a second, i wished i had worked at starbucks.

at least that would have given me some structure. usually when i come home after SB, i can crash on the couch with little need to be busy. it's probably because i'd been running around like a madman for 7 hours and i didn't feel guilty just sitting around. but when i have been busy and i have some down-time, i always feel that there is something that could be done.

"i should dust those shelves."
"i should clean the bedroom."
"i should swap out my summer and winter clothes."
"i should organize the cupboards in the kitchen so all of my tupperware doesn't fall out when i open the doors."
"i should vacuum the two weeks of cat hair off of the carpet."

it's so annoying. and the week before my period (i know, TMI) is totally horrible. i "nest" like crazy. everything has to be clean and organized. bah! i just want to sit and do NOTHING. it's like i have restless body syndrome.

maybe i just need ritalin. or maybe some downers. something to keep me from driving myself (and scott) nuts.