one of those days

as it happens every month, i have PMS. imagine your worst day in the whole world... not the "worst day" as in your dad died or your cat got run over by the mail truck. i mean "worst day" in the sense of everything that could go wrong did. that's what having PMS is like. everything goes wrong. and all it really takes is one tiny thing, like failing your chem exam, to set off the chain of "i hate my fucking life" events.

so far today, i've weighed myself (up a pound), left my sweater on the chair (it's 5 degrees outside), left late to drop off my car at the dealer (which was just at the dealer last week, but they couldn't get their shit together enough to fix it the first time), dropped it off (an extra $257, which brings the total to fix my brake light assembly up to $650), can't type, can't deal with the rude assholes in this city, can't deal with the fact that i cut 11" off my hair and now EVERY FUCKING PERSON is going to be saying something about it, so i've locked myself in my office so no one can see it. i just don't feel like dealing with anyone or anything today.

plus i have a dentist appointment today, where he's going to tell me i'm not flossing enough and the next time i go in, i'm going to have to get ANOTHER filling. at this point, i'm like, "who gives a shit?"

i've come to realize that i cannot do all of these things at once without losing my ever-loving mind:
1. take a hard class that requires a great deal of studying.
2. search for a condo.
3. save my money.
4. lose weight.
5. work out.
6. plan a bachelorette party.
7. plan a family reunion.

i know there's more in there, but i don't want to know about them. there are only 24 hours in a day, 8 of those spent behind this PC computer. 8 hours for sleeping (if i'm lucky). that leaves 8 hours to
1. eat healthy
2. work out
3. do my chem homework or read the 60-page chapter and understand it
4. not spend money
5. search for a condo.
6. spend time with my husband

and this stuff can only happen on tuesdays and fridays, because monday and wednesday i have 4 hours of class. thursday i have personal training, which only goes until 6pm.

and when you have PMS, sometimes getting out of bed is a chore.

and now i get to look forward to getting rid of my opening hours at starbucks this sunday, which, the night before, i'll be out for kristin's bachelorette party. and while i'm doing that, i'll be worrying about money and my weight and chemistry. it never stops. i'm never NOT thinking about those things. why can't one of those things just slide into place? why can't my working out actually make me thinner? why can't my going to class make me understand what the hell is going on in chemistry? why can't i get promoted to a salary where i wouldn't have to worry about buying a condo for $150k.

i hate every single aspect of my life. every. single. one. there isn't anything i look forward to anymore. and you know who's fault it is? mine.