i have lost all faith in marriage

my heart was broken by the break up of jen and brad (and angelina can choke on her adoption papers and pregnancy tests), but i think i've found a new kind of sadness.

heather locklear and richie sambora are calling it quits after 11 years.

ok, i was really depressed after valerie bertinelli and eddie van halen threw in the towel, but i'd always thought that heather and richie had that "something special." how is this going to affect Bon Jovi??? WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF JON???

now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go eat a pint of ben & jerry's.