her name is helen
and she is my best friend, Kristin's, grandmother. i first met her when i was probably 13 or 14, maybe when my friend, angela, was living with Kristin in 8th grade. her grandmother lived in an addition on her dad's house. it had its own outside entrance, a little kitchen and bedroom area. it was the perfect place for a grandma to live.
my clearest memories of Helen were on the weekends, when she would run her errands. she would go to the salon to get her hair done, buy groceries, just run around in her little blue car. she was about 70 at that point, fully functional, totally independent. when i would stay for dinner, sometimes she would join us. she would ask me about school and boyfriends in her polish accent. she was almost the surrogate grandmother to mine who had moved to Florida.
sometimes she would knock on Kristin's bedroom door, armed with something from her past, be it old photographs, perfume, jewelry, knicknacks. she would tell us the history of where it came from, a piece of her family tree to hand down. or sometimes it would be something random from the home shopping network. kristin always accepted it with a thank you and a hug.
after a while, she stopped driving herself around. she had bought a newer car, but i guess didn't feel comfortable being out on the road in her aging state. Kristin or her brother, Rob, or her dad would take her where she needed to go with no problem. occasionally when Kristin's dad went on vacations, Kris or Rob would check in on Helen from time to time to make sure she was ok.
then she fell in the kitchen of Kristin's house. i'm not sure of the details, but i think they found her after they had gotten back from a vacation. she had broke her hip and who knew how long she had laid there. but once they got her to the hospital, the truth was gradually revealed: she had had a stroke, which is why she fell.
because it took so long to diagnose, the stroke took a big chunk of her memory. she came home from the hospital and needed more looking after, which Kristin's dad did with grace. sometimes Helen would talk to you as if nothing ever happened. but sometimes she would look at you like you were someone sitting next to her on a bus, a total stranger that she didn't really want to interact with. these episodes became more and more frequent. she became child-like, not wanting to eat, not wanting to take medication.
she then became ill with a UTI and had to be put into the hospital. kristin's dad was very adamant in the past that his mother not be put in a home, but her health had become such that an ordinary full-time working, loving son couldn't provide the environment she needed. the doctor made the decision for him: we're keeping her here.
and that's where she was when she passed away yesterday afternoon. she had fallen asleep while napping and never woke up. if i could take away the last 5-7 years of her failing health and have her be completely lucent up until that fateful nap, i would do so in a heartbeat. because then i could say she truly died peacefully.
my heart goes out to her family, the Latkos... to the ones who loved her and cherished her despite her failing health and memory, those who will always remember her as the independent woman she was. bless you all.
my clearest memories of Helen were on the weekends, when she would run her errands. she would go to the salon to get her hair done, buy groceries, just run around in her little blue car. she was about 70 at that point, fully functional, totally independent. when i would stay for dinner, sometimes she would join us. she would ask me about school and boyfriends in her polish accent. she was almost the surrogate grandmother to mine who had moved to Florida.
sometimes she would knock on Kristin's bedroom door, armed with something from her past, be it old photographs, perfume, jewelry, knicknacks. she would tell us the history of where it came from, a piece of her family tree to hand down. or sometimes it would be something random from the home shopping network. kristin always accepted it with a thank you and a hug.
after a while, she stopped driving herself around. she had bought a newer car, but i guess didn't feel comfortable being out on the road in her aging state. Kristin or her brother, Rob, or her dad would take her where she needed to go with no problem. occasionally when Kristin's dad went on vacations, Kris or Rob would check in on Helen from time to time to make sure she was ok.
then she fell in the kitchen of Kristin's house. i'm not sure of the details, but i think they found her after they had gotten back from a vacation. she had broke her hip and who knew how long she had laid there. but once they got her to the hospital, the truth was gradually revealed: she had had a stroke, which is why she fell.
because it took so long to diagnose, the stroke took a big chunk of her memory. she came home from the hospital and needed more looking after, which Kristin's dad did with grace. sometimes Helen would talk to you as if nothing ever happened. but sometimes she would look at you like you were someone sitting next to her on a bus, a total stranger that she didn't really want to interact with. these episodes became more and more frequent. she became child-like, not wanting to eat, not wanting to take medication.
she then became ill with a UTI and had to be put into the hospital. kristin's dad was very adamant in the past that his mother not be put in a home, but her health had become such that an ordinary full-time working, loving son couldn't provide the environment she needed. the doctor made the decision for him: we're keeping her here.
and that's where she was when she passed away yesterday afternoon. she had fallen asleep while napping and never woke up. if i could take away the last 5-7 years of her failing health and have her be completely lucent up until that fateful nap, i would do so in a heartbeat. because then i could say she truly died peacefully.
my heart goes out to her family, the Latkos... to the ones who loved her and cherished her despite her failing health and memory, those who will always remember her as the independent woman she was. bless you all.
posted by mikraas at 12:37 PM
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