Doored

so i got doored on my way to see a friend for a lunch date downtown. i was just tooling along in the bike lane on Wells when at the last minute a guy opened the door to his SUV, my handlebar caught the edge of his door, and i went ass over teakettle. nothing like laying cheek-down on a major thoroughfare in the city of Chicago.

the guy got out of his car and came running over, "oh my god oh my god are you ok?" at that time, i was wailing "OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" i think i also said something like, "I can't believe you just did that!" with some choice expletives. then some other guy in a red shirt came running over and asked me if i was ok. someone untangled my legs from my bike and i was finally calming down a little, but i wasn't moving yet. with my cheek pressed against the warm, soothing pavement of Wells, i took a mental inventory of my injuries. stomach: ouch. shoulder: ouch. knee: ouch. but nothing felt painful enough to declare it broken. i told the guy in the red shirt that i was OK, nothing was broken, but that i was in a lot of pain. then i started to cry. welcome to the up and down of the adrenalin rush. i then told the guy that he might want to call an ambulance. i felt like i had been dragged across 80 grit sandpaper... and i pretty much just had been. after i stopped crying, i started laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. i finally raised my head to look at the legs of the guy who had done this to me. and then i introduced myself. yes, adrenalin is a strange thing.

i told them i didn't want to get up because i didn't want to see the damage. i felt like i had some serious road rash on my stomach and i just didn't want to see it. but i finally felt calm enough to get up. i looked down and didn't see anything. strange. i then hobbled over to the curb and sat. i was so goddamned thirsty and the water in my bottle was warm. people kept asking if i needed anything and all i could say was "i really want to some water." it was 90 degrees outside and there wasn't any shade where we were.

a fire truck arrived. two, maybe. they got out and asked me some questions. i told them i was ok, nothing was broken, i didn't lose consciousness i was just a little beaten up. then i started to feel like i was going to pass out. i asked them for water and they said they had some but that it tasted like garlic. i asked why and they said because it was in a pickle jar. ohhh kay. but they handed me an ice cold bottle and i didn't care if it was cat piss. i dumped it over the back of my neck and the light-headedness started to pass. they took my blood pressure a few times and poured water over my scrapes. i told them i didn't want to go to the hospital and the fire guys said that i would have to refuse and sign when the ambulance got there, which was right about that time.

the head ambulance guy came over and said, "let's do this in the air conditioning." i said, "that's the best thing i've heard all day." it was so damn hot out in the sun. i climbed in the back of the ambulance with my pickle water and sat down. they asked me the routine questions. i still felt a little light-headed but not too bad. the female ambulance person took my blood pressure again and i asked what it was. she said, "it's perfect. 110/60." nice. :) anyway, while they were asking me questions, i kept looking at my stomach to find out where that damn pain was coming from. looking below the panty line i found it: a huge scrape/bloody bruise around the ovary area. ouch!

so i refused treatment. meanwhile, the firetruck left and the cops showed up, which is good because i certainly didn't want to go to the damn police station to file a report. guh. so back outside i went. they didn't dress my wounds, by the way. :(

so we did the whole ID/talk to the cops routine. meanwhile, i was starting to feel really shitty again. my stomach growled and i told the guy's wife that i was going to across the street to Village Cyclery to get some water and something to munch on. i dragged my carcass over there and the air conditioning felt amazing. they were all wearing red shirts and i realized that one of them was the one who asked me if i was OK. he asked if i needed anything and i asked him if he had water. he asked, "would you like some ice?" oh god, yes please.

after he left, i schlupped over to the counter and asked if they had anything to eat. they had some crappy energy bars, so i picked one and she took long enough to ring me up. i was starting to feel really really shitty, so i put my head on the counter and concentrated on not passing out. i got the bar and took a bite and realized that i certainly didn't want that. i thought i was going to throw up. i kept the gross stuff in my mouth until i got my water bottle back. but i spit the chum into my mouth and placed it on shelf by the door. i'm sorry, i really wasn't thinking straight. now i feel like an ass for doing that. but i just left and drank my ice cold water. and i started to feel much better. much much better.

so while the guy was talking to the cop, i was talking to his wife. i guess they were bringing their bikes down from the 'burbs for their 30 ride check up. what's funny is that when i went down, i had no idea where i was, but at some point, when i was still on the ground, i saw the store and said, "hey, i'm by village cyclery." such a strange observation. so i asked her if i could drop my bike off with theirs so the bikes could take a look at it. of course, they said. they were really really nice. the guy was living in toronto and he left his wallet out in naperville, so he has a whole other pile of crap to deal with. at one point, i asked him if i did any damage to his car and he said, "i don't give a shit about the car. how are you??" heh.

so, he got two citations, one for me and one for not having his drivers license. he had to go to the police station, so his wife and i went to the bike shop to drop off our bikes. i don't think there was anything wrong with it, except the rear view mirror broke. they are going to replace that, which is nice.

finally, it was all said and done. his wife and i exchanged phone numbers and i hailed a cab and went home. i took a glorious shower and cleaned up and took stock of my wounds.

1: abdomen. i have no idea what caused this, but it's the most painful of the injuries.

2: shoulder. road rash.

3: left ankle. chain or crank. it was fun cleaning the grease out of it.

4: knee. road rash. i think it was the first thing to hit the ground.

5: thumb. got crushed against the pavement. my wrist was a little stiff later that night.

nothing that a lot of ibuprofen, beer, and ice won't fix. getting up and sitting down is painful because of the knee and the abdomen, but other than that, once moving or once staying put, i'm fine. working tomorrow at 8am should be fun. but hell, one of my coworkers worked on a broken ankle, so i'm sure i'll be ok.