the apple store

my sister and i went to the apple store last night for two reasons: 1) she found an iPhone in the snow on the 19th and wanted to see if Apple could get it back to its rightful owner, 2) the sim card in my iPhone took a shit... again. this time for good.

we had planned on going to the AS on wednesday, before my iphone sim card took a silicone nap, so it was a good that we were going anyway. but it made it hard for me to text her to tell her i was coming to pick her up. and i couldn't use it as a phone. about the only thing it was good for at that point was solitaire. but i digress. my iPhone addiction will be addressed later.

so we get to the AS. the first thing i noticed is that none of the employees stood out. the last time i went into the AS, the workers had bright blue shirts. for xmas, they had bright red shirts. now they were all wearing these (decidedly awesome) black t-shirts for apple's 30th birthday. but everyone else was wearing black, too. so we just kind of stood around and waited for someone to approach us, which took about 0.03 seconds.

the second thing we noticed was THE BEARDS!! holy shit, is it mandated that everyone who works at apple that can grow facial hair must do so?? i thought my sister was going to puke, there were so many vicious beards. one guy looked like he just stepped off his pennyfarthing from going lawn bowling. and the tattoos. it looked like a fucking biker convention in there. and not one of the employees had a sense of humor. serious bearded motherfuckers.

we were there for about an hour. i got a new phone. the guy with 8 o'clock shadow was very helpful. i spent most of the time updating my shit (which is still not done). it's very painful to hit that "restore" button on your old iPhone. gulp.

then we left. and went to joann's for some yarn therapy.

update to 8:09am: MY GODDAMN SIM CARD IS STILL NOT WORKING! GODDAMNIT!!! it's got to the be card. or it could be that i dropped the fucking phone in the parking lot, but i dropped my old phone about 100000 times and nothing ever happened until yesterday! WTF!!! AT&T will be getting a visit from me today. damn. thank god for the wireless network at work or else i'd be fucked.

which brings me around to my iPhone addiction.

in november 2011, i got my first iPhone. i had an iPod Touch, which is similar, but without the phone part, you're just a spectator, i guess. with the Touch, you were dependent on whose ever wireless signal was unprotected, which these days, isn't many. when i got the iPhone, i was untethered! free! free to look up anything on IMDB when the need struck! you wanna know how much plane tickets are to the Bahamas? well, lemme just look that up on my Kayak app!

before i knew it, i couldn't leave the damn room without having that thing in my hands. i once made fun of my sister because she was frantically looking for her phone one time in the car and it turned out to still be in her hand. haha. i've done that now about 10 times. i check it at stop lights. i play solitaire when i wait for trains to pass. i check the weather when i wait for my car to warm up.


and now the sim card has rendered me back to the stone age. i feel like i have my Touch again. bah! i mean, apple gave me a brand new phone and it's probably just the freaking sim card.

but yesterday, when my sim wasn't working, i felt oddly liberated. like when email goes down. like divine intervention has prevented me from being connected at all times and has given me a break from my obsession. ahhhhh. but then i want to text my sister and the relief disappears. 

i hate technology.

my project

i don't know if i've mentioned it on my blog before, but i'm starting a new magazine. it makes me feel weird to say that, like i'm a total poser that is just going through a "flight of fancy" phase. i'll get over that soon enough, i guess, because this thing is really happening.

i lose my current job in august. i am a contract worker who can only work for 2 years for this company. this is the way book publishing has been going these last few years. most of the jobs that i do have been sent overseas, so companies in america just hire local talent to get them through the busy times, then they let them go. my company has a policy that you can't be a temp for more than 2 years, then you have to be off for a year, then you can come back. unless you actually get hired, which is virtually unheard of. i've been back to this place 5 times and twice i have filled out the requisite forms to apply for permanence. and twice, the position has not been filled. they just get more temps.

anyway, august. i'm out. and my burning desire to find another job is somewhere between "getting my nails pulled out with pliers" and "getting a scorching case of herpes." my talents have been marginalized enough by corporate america. but, i need to be able to pay the billz. this is where my project comes in.

it's a knitting magazine for the chicagoland area. we have close to 50 knitting stores and no method of mass printed communication. no Knittery Monthly. so i'm making one. if i had the tenacity to publish a full magazine every month, i would have called it the before-mentioned name. but i just don't have that kind of time. it's called Chicago Knits Magazine. 60 pages of knitting, crochet, spinning, pattern, all sorts of crap.

when i first had the idea (probably around sept), i was of course, on the fence. there's that time when the idea seems great and you're really excited and you can't sleep and you keep notebooks of all of your ideas and think everything is awesome. then comes the time where you have to shit or get off the pot. you tell a few people and they're so fucking thrilled with the idea that you feel if you don't do it, someone else will. and they'll do a shitty job and you'll end up playing second banana to a piece of shit publication. forget that. so i talked to the chick at my local knitting shop. she thought it was a great idea. i told a few close friends. more kudos. i started designing it. it came together. i implemented my notebook of ideas. i put in my own patterns. i interviewed the knitting store chick. i bugged people for more patterns. i got my spinning teacher to not write just one article, but a whole series about spinning. i started telling more people about it. people said that they would love to help out.

but i am burned out. it's like doing two jobs at once. when i'm not busy at work (and these days, we're really light), i turn to my personal laptop and do more layout. i have made the website, laid out the magazine, designed the cover, KNIT the image for the cover, re-knit a hat for the pattern, done countless hours of research, registered the business, applied for an EIN, opened a bank account, got a PO box, design business cards, called printers, written submission guidelines, designed logos, started email accounts, made rate cards and media kits for advertising, started a Kickstarter, open accounts for Facebook, Twitter, Ravelry, Pinterst. how much help have i gotten with this? almost none.

i am exhausted.

look, the stuff i had to do, i had to do it because who else is going to file for incorporation or open a bank account? but there is a whole list left of crap i have to do. i need to find someone to fix the website. i need to design a subscription card. talk to printers about mailing services. call the post office to get a bulk permit and set up an account, need to bug publishers about getting galley copies of craft books to review, bug yarn and notion suppliers about getting new yarns and accessories to review, call potential advertisers, order crap for YarnCon, hire tech knitters, find models, find a photographer (all who are willing to work for close to nothing). i still need to get business cards. get the sub cards and media kits printed (can't do that without a bulk permit, unless i'm going to stamp all those cards. no way). i have to visit local yarn stores to talk about subscriptions and advertising and potential submissions. i need to find an accountant. i need to find someone to be an account rep for my advertisers (i have someone in mind, but i need to get my shit together to figure out the scope of the job).

and then i need to find more stuff for the NEXT issue.

a lot of this stuff is a one-and-done. once the USPS account is set up, i don't have to worry about that anymore. once the sub cards are printed, i don't have to worry about them. once i get the suppliers to know me, it shouldn't be a problem to build a lasting relationship. it's just hard to do all of this when i have a full time job. but i can't quit because i need as much money as i can so i can survive through the profit-building phase of the magazine. and who knows when that is going to happen. i have no idea what circulation is going to be. i have no idea how many knitters are in the chicagoland area. maybe i should know this. according to my spreadsheets, i need to sell 238 subscriptions or 775 individual magazines (or a combination) to break even for my first issue. i guess that's not too bad. and i don't expect to break even in the first issue. guh.

my point is, i am working all day, every day. from 7:30am until i go to bed at 10pm. i have so much to do before the launch (April 5) that i am starting to panic. people are going to ask questions and i don't want to look like an idiot.  and there will be things that no one has thought of. copyright. ISSN. plagiarism. crap i don't even want to think about. and when i get this worked up, i need a break, but i can't really take one. if i keep looking at a computer screen, my eyes are going to pack their optic nerve bags and hit the road. and i don't know if my shoulder can keep up with this pace, hunched over a computer or knitting like a fanatic.

now if you'll excuse me, i have to go huff into a paper bag for about an hour.